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As Bad As I Could Ever Expect

from So Distant by Bill Jings

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lyrics

I had known it all day, I had been waiting for the moment
Still don't know how it was done,
I was relying on the one thing we couldn't discuss
When I finally approached the fact
It came out of me like an answer
To a question you didn't ask
And you really didn't want to think about
It was as bad as I could ever expect

She stayed in the guest room that first night
And I woke up when she cried at about five in the morning
And I acted like I do when the cat cries for his food
A real bad dude, just trying to go to sleep
When I left I knew I'd never come back
Because you can't come back from wandering
To escape a pain beyond your control
I could never know what I would come home to
Yeah, it was as bad as I could ever expect

I woke up early again today
She and her dad came by to get the dog
I couldn't sleep, I took a shower and I fed the pets
And dammit, I was here the whole time
For the way she looked at everything
That I knew that I was taking away
In the moment, I could not even comfort her
And that was as bad as it would ever get

credits

from So Distant, released March 19, 2015

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Bill Jings Atlanta, Georgia

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